Yes, I know that is a scary thing.
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that
everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one so I'm wearing my garage door opener.
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You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.
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I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
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I was thinking about old age and decided that it's when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.
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I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping
Rust."
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I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease.... that's when your chest is falling into your drawers!
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You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you
got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"
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Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an
emergency. I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"
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Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these people? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they
delivered the mail?
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me.....they were cramming for their finals!
You have a garage door opener? Elitist! I can't afford a GDO, so I park outside the garage. As for cell phones, they're out of the question for me, too. What I do is flip up the top of a Pez dispenser and talk furtively into it. Can you hear me now? :)
Posted by: gary at May 18, 2004 11:26 AM