October 16, 2003

Alliance Assignment

The Assignment:

I hate Michael Moore. Frank J. hates Michael Moore. Everybody hates Michael Moore, including his own mother.

He wrote that Bowling for Columbine collection of lies, which received an Academy Award for "Best Documentary". When he waddled up to take it, he made a rude speech about ficticious wars and ficticious presidents, when he should've been talking about his own damn fictitious movie.

The cowards at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences refuse to revoke his Oscar. So Michael Moore gets to keep his award.


If Michael Moore wants awards so bad, let's let him keep that stupid Oscar. In fact. Let's give him even MORE awards. Let's bury him in the kinds of awards he really deserves. Your assignment is to answer the question:

What award would you give Michael Moore?

(Hopping Up To The Microphone):

Hi, It gives me emmense pleasure to NOT give best picture, best fiction, or best soundtrack to Michael Moore. What we have, this year, is the "Most Likely To" awards. Mr. Bore, er... Moore, please stand and remain standing while we name the awards you've won!

Most Likely To Fabricate Information
Most Likely to Explode from Overeating
Most Likely to be mistaken for a baboon's posterior
Most Likely to give a nonsensical acceptance speech
Most Likely to annoy the general populace
Most Likely to have the crap beat out of after this ceremony
Most Likely to never get laid without paying for it
Most Likely to be cast as a body double for Jabba The Hutt
Most Likely to have his face plastered on "Wanted" posters at all you can eat buffets

and finally,
Most Likely to never appear in anyone's wet dream

Thank you. Now, Go to Hell. Do not pass Go. Do not collect another freakin' Oscar.

(Hopping away from the microphone)

Posted by Roxette at October 16, 2003 03:28 PM

You tell 'im, Miss Bunny!!!!!

Posted by: Susie at October 16, 2003 04:27 PM

How 'bout the Purple Heart.

Of course, we need to draft him first, and then get someone to shoot him. The second part shouldn't be hard.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at October 16, 2003 10:48 PM

Excellent! This'll be in the round-up.

Posted by: Harvey at October 17, 2003 09:05 PM
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